god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
