Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
