I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Randomize
