Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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