i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
