If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
