i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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