went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
