You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
