he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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