one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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