Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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