Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
