Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
