I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
