that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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