maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
