addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
