you would pick up someone in the library
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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