Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
