lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
