There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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