guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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