i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
