i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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