you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
