I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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