Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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