There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's shark week go big or go home
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
