Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
