I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
