I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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