i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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