can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
