we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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