I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
only you would photoshop your dick
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
