Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
