***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
