At least make sure they are 18
Why
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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