just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
