Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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