the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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