break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She's just so happy...and so naked.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
