I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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