matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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