just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
