Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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