this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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