i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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