I'm really into asian looking animals
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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