I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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