I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
