Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
