i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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