Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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