My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
