I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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