...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
