I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
