I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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