when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
