Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
